Giving too much could be covering up the cracks in your relationship!

Do you wonder what would happen to your relationship if you stopped giving as much as you do?

Are you secretly worried that if you stopped giving emotionally then your relationship would fall apart?

Many women do, but now you can learn how not to be one of them.

Keep giving and giving, eventually you’ll have nothing left to give

Many women are programmed to work on their relationship and because of this, they give and give and keep on giving.  If giving is natural to you, then that’s what you will do.  And as much as this can be selfless, you can end up feeling empty and resentful, because you start to wonder why your giving hasn’t made you as happy as you thought it would- why if you’re giving so much to make your partner happy, why is it you feel so empty?

So are you doing anything wrong?

Unfortunately the answer could be yes you are doing something wrong if it’s not reciprocated, and you will know it’s not reciprocated if you stop giving and your relationship stops working.

Test your level of giving to find out how well your relationship can flow

So to test this, the first thing to do is to stop arranging, stop initiating, stop being the first to make up, stop cuddling and notice what happens.  Harsh?  Scary?  But ultimately liberating.  And If things stop working- what can you do then?

Assess whether you are with the right or wrong man, because if you are with the wrong man, nothing you do will be right.  And how will you know this?

Ask yourself whether he makes you happy

Simply ask yourself- ‘does he make me happy’?  Note your gut reaction.  If your immediate answer is yes he does make you happy- then you’re potentially with the right man.  If your answer is no- you have more thinking to do.

Ultimately if you want to stay- start getting a life.  Start meeting your own needs.  What do you like to do?  Go do it.  Where would you like to go?  Go there.  Whom would you want to hang out with?  Ask them to join you.  Need a shoulder to cry on?  Seek a coach, or a good listener.  Decide today that YOU are responsible for your happiness-he isn’t- - it’s liberating.

Give your partner more of the reigns

Encourage your partner to plan something.  Let him decide, let him take the lead.   Stop making things work.  If he forgets something, take it as a learning curve.  If he fails to do something you don’t like- use it as a start.  Talk to him, let him know the things you do like, the places where you’d like to go- and thank him when he makes the effort.

Know what you want and need.  Be absolutely specific about what you want and then tell him.  Say it with love, say it without judgement.  If you need to, pretend he’s your new partner and begin to teach him how you like to be loved.  With time and patience your man- if he’s the right one for you, will come through.

Wean yourself out of the habit of giving too much

Not giving too much can be difficult for some women just because of what may happen- or more to the point what might not happen if they stop the giving.  But if you want a way out of relationship angst- then this is one of the best things you can do to help yourself.  And it will be worth it.

Until the next time….