Is Your Man Good For You And Your Relationship?
Posted: June 9th, 2009 | Author: admin | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: You're with the wrong guy | No Comments »Would you know whether the man you’re with is good for you or not?
There are 3 things I want to draw your attention to in this article-
1. Whether you would know if the man you’re with is really good for you or not?
2 How what he does can be affecting your behaviour and
3. What you need to be on the look out for to make sure you aren’t being affected
How would you know whether the man you’re married to or living with is good for you or not?
The best way to know whether the man you’re married to or living with is good for you or not to imagine that your best friend is describing your boyfriends characteristics, habits, thoughts, behaviours as if it was all happening to her.
Her partner happens to be exactly like your boyfriend and she is complaining or at least talking about how he is treating her, and you listen on whilst she does this. Each day on the phone she relays another episode in the drama that is her and her partner and you as the helpless onlooker can only listen to her story.
So the question for you is would you agree that his behaviour is acceptable or not?
And the answer to the question will tell you whether you do know that he’s good for you. When I say good I mean that he helps increase your self esteem, you feel confidence being yourself, your lifestyle has changed but for the better since you’ve been with him and generally you feel more whole, more at home with him.
If this has brought up any doubt, let’s look on to how he could be affecting you.
How what he does could be affecting your behaviour
What you need to be looking for here is how you feel about yourself when you’re around him and away from him. Do you feel better after a break from him, do you naturally start to change little things in what you do and how you do them? And when you are with him have you noticed yourself being a bit more tight lipped, more defensive, less sure of yourself?
Take a change in your behaviour as a sign that he is influencing you, not in the negative sense of the word, because the longer you are around someone the more you’re being influenced by them. All you need to do is look at how he’s influencing you, is it positively or not?
Which brings me to what you need to be on the look out for to make sure you aren’t being affected in the negative sense of this.
When you are being affected by someone else, the first place you will notice this is in how you act, how you think and what you put up with, it’s all about differences, so…
· Have you given up anything that is important to you to be with him, or interests or spending time with friends?
· Have you stopped seeing people if he doesn’t get on with them or do you feel disloyal if you mention them to him?
· Have you put your dreams on hold to accomodate and support his?
A work colleague of mine a few years back was especially cynical when it came to men and the reason why was that she had put her life and career on hold to not only finance him through his studies, but support him emotionally for a few years whilst he got his degree and then worked in the job he wanted which didn’t pay much at first.
When he started to become more successful- he had an affair and left her for another more exciting woman- go figure!!
· Do you let him get away with treating you with less respect, kindness, thought compared to other people?
· Have you already decided that if he treats you with disrespect, or doesn’t values what’s most important to you that you would leave the relationship no matter how many years you’ve invested so far?
Taking these 3 points into consideration you will see that by answering them, you have a way to decide whether the man you’re with is in fact good for you, or if nothing else it has made you see that he is.
The only thing you need to think now is if he’s not as good for you as you would like, what will you do next? And if you would like any FREE help or support here, leave your question or comment below and I’ll gladly help.
Until the next time…
